How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
Why did the policeman smell bad? He was on duty.
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? FO DRIZZLE!
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it has a silent pee.
What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Why the long face?”
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, get out of here! We don’t serve mushrooms here”. Mushroom says, “why not? I’m a fungai!”
I never make mistakes…I thought I did once; but I was wrong.
What’s Beethoven’s favorite fruit?…Ba-na-na-naaa!